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Kerfuffle

by Dysphoric Daydream

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1.
Your face is punctuated With stars of brown and beige; Your eyes don’t look related But, for them, I’d pay good wage. And your hair will always sparkle No matter how you age. Now, tell me, what is better Than writing this on a page? You make me happy Even when I’m getting loud. You make me happy Even under stormy clouds. Your laugh will satisfy me Even when I cannot hear. Your beauty can’t get by me Without causing me to tear [crying; not ripping] And I’m waiting for the day When our I’m becomes we’re. I never want to leave this place As long as you are here. You make me happy Even when I’m getting loud. You make me happy Even under stormy clouds. And if there’s any chance that I Make you as glad as you do, me, Then knowing so will be the greatest achievement of my life. Your face is punctuated With stars of brown and beige; Your eyes don’t look related But, for them, I’d pay good wage. And your hair will always sparkle No matter how you age. Now, tell me, what is better Than writing this on a page? You make me happy Even when I’m getting loud. You make me happy Even under stormy clouds.
2.
The tears of a clown quickly erase His once happy expression, running down And reminding him the contours of his face Whilst forgetting that he’s a clown. After folding an animal balloon, He returns to his disfavored state; But while his personality shifts to the moon, The children’s laughter makes him irate. Painting on a smile while wearing a frown, He doesn’t remember how to walk in his shoes. Wearing his orange wig as a crown, All that he feels are the blues.
3.
Holy shit, it’s raining so hard That I can’t even see my front yard And the fish and frogs are falling so fast I can’t recognize them at all. Oh my God, the fog is so thick That I can carve into it with a stick. Car headlights stop in their tracks As they try to find their way out. And my umbrella keeps turning inside out It’s not very useful at this juncture My head’s being pelted by toads and trout And I’m not surprised my parasol’s been punctured. Holy fuck, it’s so dark out there My flashlight won’t even dare go out. It’s a block of grey obstructing my vision I can’t tell the difference between a duck and a pigeon. And my umbrella keeps turning inside out It’s not very useful at this juncture My head’s being pelted by toads and trout And I’m not surprised my parasol’s been punctured.
4.
Hide away, folk family Or else someone's gonna get ya Hide away, folk family Better hide away Better hide away Tippy toe to the front door, Mother 'Cause there's a guy with a long, long fuse And the one thing you can't hide Is all the fear you feel inside As the fuse is spelling out these words: Hide away, folk family Or else someone's gonna get ya Hide away, folk family Better hide away Better hide away Tippy toe to the flatbed, Father Because they're pouring out our gasoline And sadly the cross-eyed bear's Been put to sleep behind the stairs (sadly) And his shoes are laced with irony Hide away, folk family Or else someone's gonna get ya Hide away, folk family Better hide away Better hide away "Hello, this is Lesley Down with the Daily Home Astrology Report: Taurus, contemplate domestic turmoil Aquarius, abandon hope for future plans..." Hide away, folk family Or else someone's gonna get ya Hide away, folk family Better hide away Better hide away (Hide away) Hide away (Folk family) Folk family Or else someone's gonna get ya Hide away Hide away
5.
Hey! How’d you like to grow old with me? Retired together is the way I want to be. Sitting all day, hand in hand, We can take turns kissing each other’s cheek. Then, maybe, we could reunite the band And we’ll hold a practice every other week. Hey! Maybe we’ll grow old together. I couldn’t think of a single thing better. We could invest in a loveseat rocking chair And we’d rock back and forth all day long. And then I would help you shave your body hair And we could take turns giving sensual massage. Hey! Maybe you could grow old with me? Retired together is the way I want to be.
6.
Make my way Into the confessional. I stick my dick Into the eyeball hole. The priest says, “Son, “Put your cock back in your smock! “Or I’ll proceed to cut it off!” Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Why shouldn’t I Leak a bit? After all, he spills his shit. He’s a chauvinistic, homophobic, trouser-pressing faker Who extorts money from unassuming believers. Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest! Piss on the priest!
7.
I prayed to Jesus-- It helped me none. I prayed to myself-- It helped a ton. I prayed to the Lord-- Got nothing done. I prayed to what I believe in-- I am the one. I lost my power When I relied Every waking hour On his word, I’d abide. Idling latent I never got what I hoped for-- I tried being patient, But I admit I did get bored. I prayed to Jesus-- It helped me none. I prayed to myself-- It helped a ton. I prayed to the Almighty-- Wish I hadn’t prayed. I prayed to what I believe in-- I am a man self-made. Don’t give me trouble (No, don’t give me that.) I’m fine with myself-- No, don’t give me any flack. I like myself-- It’s who I am. I believe in myself-- Don’t give a damn about being damned.
8.
Definitely 02:30
She’s the perfect girl for me, definitely. The one of whom I dream, indefinitely. And I… I-I-I-I-I believe that She… she-e-he-e-he belongs to Me… Me-e-he-e-he. Definitely. She’s the one I want to be with, definitely. That’s my only wish, definitely. And I… I-I-I-I-I believe that She… she-e-he-e-he belongs to Me… Me-e-he-e-he. Definitely. And I… I-I-I-I-I believe that She… she-e-he-e-he belongs to Me… Me-e-he-e-he. Definitely.
9.
Like the castle in your closet, Like the rose upon your river, Like the demons in your deposit, Like the lungs in your liver, Like the rainbow in your wasteland, Like the cruelty in your chair, Hannah's hair was never there. Like the dust in your deodorant, Like the razor in your redrum, Like the crust in your crustacean, Like the riots in your bedroom, Like the stars in your apartment, Like the beach that's always bare, Hannah's hair was never there.
10.
When I want a sunny day, I ask you to come and play. When I want umbrella weather, I ask you to run away. When I miss the sunny rays Of a day that’s lacking grey, When I don’t want umbrella weather, I ask of you to come and play, You help my tears of rain turn to showers of joy; You make my muddy boots into chocolate ones. My rain jacket reflects the color of sun And we jump in puddles until they’re emptied of water. I look to you to dry the rain. I look to you to ease the pain. You look to me to wet the sun. You look to me to moisten ground. I look to you to brighten dark-- I look to you for fun in the park. You look to me to erase shadow. You look to me to block the light. When I want a sunny day, I ask you to come and play. When I want umbrella weather, I ask you to run away. When I miss the sunny rays Of a day that’s lacking grey, When I don’t want umbrella weather, I ask of you to come and play, When I yearn to achieve sun-- The apex of a mountain trek-- You realize you are the one Whom I call to procure it? Do you know you tickle me? Do you know you put away my umbrella? Did you know you comfort me? Did you do all that on purpose? Do you know you give me all I need? Do you know I’ve not felt betta? Did you know you set me free? Since you’ve been gone, it’s been umbrella weather. When I want a sunny day, I ask of you to come and play. When I want umbrella weather, I ask you to run away. When I miss the sunny rays Of a day that’s lacking grey, When I don’t want umbrella weather, I ask of you to come and play
11.
I see my reflection in your eyes, And this buffer doesn’t disguise The remnants of anger on my wall By getting violent from alcohol. And every time I look into those blues, I think about my own. And although I don’t so choose, Remember the things I’ve blown. Whenever we both stare Into each others’ pairs, It’s like all of my cares Come right back to me. And every time I look into those blues, I think about my own. And although I don’t so choose, Remember the things I’ve blown. The other day, you got shit-faced Because you’ve got shit for brains. There are some things time can’t erase, And in our minds, the memory remains. Except your mind forgot to record The things you did the night before. You can’t recall the things you’ve done. Now tell me, what makes that so fun? And every time I look into those blues, I think about my own. And although I don’t so choose, Remember the things I’ve blown. A night consisting of Green Apple Twists Is another night when you don’t exist, Another night to cross of the list, Another night – well, you get the gist. And every time I down a can, I lean down in front of one. Now don’t I look quite like a man While all the same, I look so young?
12.
Blood in the water. Flood of my daughter. Blood in the water. Flood of my daughter. Shouldn’t have let her into the waves. Blood of my daughter Overfills the ocean. I hope to God that she doesn’t wake up dead. That’s her over there, Floating out in the waters; Floating up into Heaven The strands of her hair are carried into the air. She’s making her final surf. Blood in the water I’ve called and I’ve called her. The sweet scent of her severed sea Is calling out to me As I wonder why I let her go. That’s her everywhere And, in essence, nowhere. Floating to the top of the salt. Blood in the water, And it’s all my fault.
13.
Nope.
14.
Girl, I'm ready for sex So won't you please say yes? You don't know how I feel when I see your naked breast. I'm ready for sex So won't you let me in? Babe, I know God's watchin' But it really ain't no sin Ready I am Don't you give a damn? Oh, by the way, I've installed a new webcam I'm ready for sex! You're lucky, you're so blessed You're the first girl to make me feel this arrest. Girl, I advise You consider I'm revised In the world biology I know where to stick my thing I have studied reproduction I have observed three ho-functions I have thoughts I'd like to spit: You're the girl I wanna hit And by that, I don't mean slap I mean the girl I wanna tap Do you know what I mean? I just want inside your jeans You see, I'm not the kind of guy Who wants to unzip your fly Only to knock you up And run to the nearest bus I'm the kinda bro Who has studied many shows And I'm fully aware of where my penis goes Girl, I'm ready for sex So won't you please say yes? You don't know how I feel when I see your naked breast. I'm ready for sex So won't you let me in? Babe, I know God's watchin' But it really ain't no sin Ready I am Don't you give a damn? Oh, by the way, I've installed a new webcam I'm ready for sex! You're lucky, you're so blessed You're the first girl to make me feel this arrest. Oh, I'm sincere I ain't gonna run nowhere Why the hell'd I leave if you buy me all my beer? Girl, you know you're safe I'll let my fluids go to waste I'm both wearing protection and I'll pull out from your space. Girl, I'm legit Let me see your pit All I really care about is pleasuring your clit Boo, can't you see? I ain't doing this for me All I'm tryna do is to set your spirit free. Hey, what'samatta? Let's forget about the chatter? Yeah, you know that's right I'm gonna rock your world ton-- You kicked me on the street No shoes upon my feet! This is a most kinky game-- Does it have a name? I'm ready for sex, Even though your hair's a mess Please be more careful when you're taking off that dress I'm ready to bond I've got a condom on! I even brought that bra of which you are so fond I know about STDs HIV I even know that it can lead to a new baby I'm ready for sex Why aren't you more impressed? You know how long it took to get to this point? I attest Girl, I'm ready for sex So won't you please say yes? You don't know how I feel when I see your naked breast. I'm ready for sex So won't you let me in? Babe, I know God's watchin' But it really ain't no sin Ready I am Don't you give a damn? Oh, by the way, I've installed a new webcam I'm ready for sex! You're lucky, you're so blessed You're the first girl to make me feel this arrest.
15.
The Mad Ones 05:45
We take the sad ones We take the mad ones We take the mad ones And make them glad ones. We take the half ones Who are not all there We drill their head bones And leave nothing but air. The sad ones The mad ones The sad ones The mad ones The sad ones The mad ones The sad ones The mad ones We take the sad ones We take the mad ones We lock the mads up And drown them in the tub. St. Vitus dance, A dance we are to avoid Mass hysteria Controlled by cerebral void The mad ones We take the mad ones ...

credits

released December 4, 2012

Written, performed, and produced by Dominic Linde

EXCEPT Soprano sax was played by Stephanie Roberts on "The Mad Ones."

and "Hide Away Folk Family" is written by They Might Be Giants

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Dysphoric Daydream San Francisco, California

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